I don't recall outlining and advocating any specific kind of alternative arrangement. I'm merely questioning the value of the social norm of monogamy as it exists now.
Yes, but emotions are not logical. I (we) had mentioned jealousy, and I think this is a very important aspect to consider for most people getting involved in open relationships and open marriage.
I have friends in open relationships, but I don't have any in open marriages. Jealousy didn't seem to be a problem, but I suspect it was lurking in the background. I also suspect most people would fail miserably if an open relationship was attempted. However, there would be some successes. Even if we eliminated culture entirely (along with expectation) and threw a bunch of us on some island and educated us (leaving out ALL mentions of behavior which is a pretty big GULP) and left those people to their own devices I believe 1 to 1 ratio relationships would be the result, in time.
A friend of mine had a problem with the (more) socially accepted Lesbian PDA because Male (Gay) PDA was viewed and judged more critically, from both sexes. Maybe even "judged" is the wrong word, "repulsed" is a better word. He blamed this on culture and machismo attitudes etc. I think culture keeps the wheels turning but human nature is what started them. My friend thought - and still thinks - culture is to blame for this inequality of reaction and judgment.
Like most things this goes back to evolutionary psychology to explain why people have such startling differences in their reaction to forms of PDA. And perhaps PDA isn't even the right description - just the acts themselves, say, Female on Female kissing is more tolerable to everyone than Man on Man kissing, except for gay Men.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that is a similar position being taken here. Culture vs Nature. Where do we draw the line? How? I think we have a lot of filling in the blanks to do, while also admitting everyone here has had something worthy mentioning.
I see no contradiction between the stated opinions thus far (if I understood them correctly). They're all in the mix but we have to pinpoint to what degree exactly? I think it's true people pressure other people to get married and I think that's wrong. I think it's also true that open relationships simply wouldn't work for most people, but more power to 'em if they want to give it a try. Expectation is present, sure. Does this influence behavior? Absolutely it does.
Culture has influence, but the influence does not surpass our inborn tendencies. You smash all the factors together and you get a maze of influence which generally results in our current situation with culture pulling the wagon - helping it along, but itself not becoming the direction, or the wagon.
Mutual Exclusivity
Yes, but emotions are not logical. I (we) had mentioned jealousy, and I think this is a very important aspect to consider for most people getting involved in open relationships and open marriage.
I have friends in open relationships, but I don't have any in open marriages. Jealousy didn't seem to be a problem, but I suspect it was lurking in the background. I also suspect most people would fail miserably if an open relationship was attempted. However, there would be some successes. Even if we eliminated culture entirely (along with expectation) and threw a bunch of us on some island and educated us (leaving out ALL mentions of behavior which is a pretty big GULP) and left those people to their own devices I believe 1 to 1 ratio relationships would be the result, in time.
A friend of mine had a problem with the (more) socially accepted Lesbian PDA because Male (Gay) PDA was viewed and judged more critically, from both sexes. Maybe even "judged" is the wrong word, "repulsed" is a better word. He blamed this on culture and machismo attitudes etc. I think culture keeps the wheels turning but human nature is what started them. My friend thought - and still thinks - culture is to blame for this inequality of reaction and judgment.
Like most things this goes back to evolutionary psychology to explain why people have such startling differences in their reaction to forms of PDA. And perhaps PDA isn't even the right description - just the acts themselves, say, Female on Female kissing is more tolerable to everyone than Man on Man kissing, except for gay Men.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that is a similar position being taken here. Culture vs Nature. Where do we draw the line? How? I think we have a lot of filling in the blanks to do, while also admitting everyone here has had something worthy mentioning.
I see no contradiction between the stated opinions thus far (if I understood them correctly). They're all in the mix but we have to pinpoint to what degree exactly? I think it's true people pressure other people to get married and I think that's wrong. I think it's also true that open relationships simply wouldn't work for most people, but more power to 'em if they want to give it a try. Expectation is present, sure. Does this influence behavior? Absolutely it does.
Culture has influence, but the influence does not surpass our inborn tendencies. You smash all the factors together and you get a maze of influence which generally results in our current situation with culture pulling the wagon - helping it along, but itself not becoming the direction, or the wagon.