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Longstanding marriages typically do not end after a single incident of infidelity, so I don't see your point.

[citation needed]

A couple that has been married twenty years with three children typically does not end the marriage when one party has a drunken one night stand.

Then I say "yay" to that couple. And I say "boo" to the couple in the same circumstances that chooses divorce.

And you completely overlook the fact that fidelity helps them get through those twenty years by shielding them from the open-ended potential for complications in an open marriage.

I don't "completely overlook" this. I admit the costs of jealousy. which I see as more significant and more difficult to avoid than the creation of unwanted/unintended children or STDs.

I notice the benefits of monogamy. I am just skeptical that the benefits outweigh the costs.